The Official Guitar Plan

Over the weekend, I was running on the treadmill and thinking about guitars, which is something I do often, even when I'm not on a treadmill. Specifically, I was thinking about my current crop of guitars and what I can do to make them even better.

This thought process came forth from the troubles I've had with my Hondo ever since I rebuilt it with new parts. Everything works well, but the tremolo won't stay in tune. I bit the bullet and locked down the Wilkinson tremolo over the weekend, but it didn't completely solve the problem. I think those tremolos just weren't designed to be set flush against the body. 

I've said this many times, but I have no place in my guitar-playing life for guitars with tremolos. I just don't like them. I've tried to use them, and with the exception of the Floyd Rose on my old Charvel, they never stayed in tune and were a constant source of frustration. Even the Floyd wasn't perfect - it was a be-yotch to set up and if you broke a string, forget it. You're left with a completely unplayable instrument as the now uneven tension between the strings and the springs is violently shifted to the latter, putting every string out of tune. I also like to change tunings from time to time - right now, my Strat is tuned to E-flat - and doing that with a floating tremolo will take all afternoon, not five minutes like it does with a hardtail.

This sense of frustration and the desire for hardtail guitars had me looking at other guitars recently, namely a certain purple Ibanez at Spotlight Music in Fort Collins. But a lack of guitar funds - well, any funds for that matter - and the need for other things in my life like a new computer, air conditioning, food, etc. put that idea on ice permanently, unless for some odd reason the Ibanez is still there in a few years, which I highly doubt. Also, I don't need a new guitar. I could get pretty much any tone I want with the guitars I have now. Anything new would be just frivolous.

With all this in mind, I was running on my treadmill, listening to some prog (Spock's Beard was on at the time, if memory serves) and an idea hit me that was so simple and made so much sense that I decided to make it my Official Guitar Plan.

The plan goes as follows:

• Go to Warmoth.com and get a new body for my Strat. Warmoth is licensed to make Fender replacement parts so everything is sized right for Fender guitars. I'll get the same basic body, as I like the way it sounds, which means it'll be an Alder body with a black gloss finish. However, I'll get it routed for a hardtail bridge instead of a tremolo. They also sell bridges and ferrules, so I can get everything I need at the same place. I want a universal pickup rout, too, just in case I get tired of the pickups and want to try something completely different. Even though it takes away more wood - and diminishes tone and sustain - any loss in the pickup routing should be more than made up for the fact that it has no tremolo rout in the back. See, I thought of everything.
• Take the old Strat body, tremolo and all, and use it to rebuild my Hondo. The vintage-style tremolo on my Strat is locked down nicely and makes a much better hardtail than the Wilkinson. Also, the body on the Hondo is a disaster. It's plywood, it's thin, it has holes in places it shouldn't, and it's generally beat up. All the parts should fit the Fender body well except for the neck, as the Hondo neck is a bit wider than a standard Fender neck. I should be able to finagle it in, but if I can't I can always drop it off at Spotlight Music to get it put together.
• Take the old Hondo body outside and burn it. Or make a wall clock out of it or something. I'll take off the Wilkinson first and try to sell it

That's the plan. It's so simple it's brilliant. It's economical, too, as the parts I need still cost less than the purple Ibanez. Plus I can do the work myself, unless I run into an issue bolting the Hondo neck onto the Fender body. The hardest part now is being patient. Although it costs less (and saves my Hondo from certain closet exile) it still costs something, and something is more than the nothing I have right now to spend on my guitars. Of course, that doesn't stop me from wanting to do it right freakin' now. At least I have something to look forward to.

Overzealous upgrading

When I got back my old Hondo and determined what I wanted to upgrade, I really did have good intentions. My goal was to not only make it playable again, but also to make it a viable addition to my collection. A guitar that I wouldn't be embarrassed to play in public or to bring to a lesson or jam session. A guitar I could be proud of.

I did have a guitar in mind when I put together my list of upgrades - Alan Morse's red Stratocaster. As you can see from the picture on the left (which I got from the Web, so if there's any copyright issue, please let me know), it's an HSS Strat with a painted headstock, a maple neck and a Floyd Rose tremolo. I could be wrong, but it looks like a Japanese Strat.

Anyway, my Hondo is quite similar except it's black and, well, it's not a Fender. So the addition of an HSS pickguard was a given. I considered the possibility of adding a Floyd, but since my Hondo has a bullet truss rod, I didn't think the locking nut would fit. So I ended up getting a Wilkinson blade tremolo, which is nice and smooth, but has the same problem as all non-locking tremolos I've ever used - the damn thing won't stay in tune.

I've tried everything. I replaced the stock string tree with a roller string tree. The tuners were already pretty solid, so I left them alone. I put graphite on the nut. I used three different methods of spring setup - the standard three-spring W formation, the Carl Verheyen three-straight-springs-with-an-angled-claw formation, and, most recently, the Eddie Van Halen two-springs-in-a-V-with-an-angled-claw formation that he used before switching to locking tremolos. Nothing works. It stays in tune for about 5 minutes, then it sounds like death. I don't even have to touch the trem arm - just a deep bend throws it out of tune.

When I got this guitar back from my friend's dad, the original 6-screw tremolo was bolted down solid to the guitar body. I joked at how bad it was and how I threw it away, but right now I wish I still had it. I'd take out the Wilkinson and put it back in in a heartbeat because right now, I don't play my Hondo often. It goes out of tune too easily which makes it not a lot of fun to play.

Unless anyone has any suggestions on how to keep it in tune, I'll have to look into locking down the Wilkinson now, which seems like a colossal waste of time and money. I could've achieved the same result with the old setup. Plus, since the Wilkinson is a floating blade tremolo, it'll be a lot harder to lock down than a vintage 6-screw trem, which is probably the easiest style of tremolo to lock down.

It should be worth the effort, though, to be able to play the Hondo again without getting frustrated and annoyed. I want to rotate my four guitars as often as possible to try and alleviate my need to buy many guitars. If I had the means, I swear I'd have at least 20 guitars. That purple Ibanez would just be the start.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Conway Twitty...